


We've fallen to the dark as we dive under the waves (I heard you say)

by EJBEisGay



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Caleb Widogast-centric, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mollymauk Tealeaf Lives, Nightmares, i guess?, no beta we die like men, sorry molly dead who?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 05:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21174017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EJBEisGay/pseuds/EJBEisGay
Summary: Caleb has a nightmare that shakes him up, but he's comforted.





	We've fallen to the dark as we dive under the waves (I heard you say)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Silhouette by Aquilo! Thanks to Mags for the song suggestion!

At first the fire was calm.

It was a controlled fire in the fireplace that his old house used to have. He would sit down with his Mutter in front of it, his cat Frumpkin on his lap, as his Vatter was reading a story from their countless fairytale books they owned on his favourite armchair. The warmth from the fire surrounded him like a blanket, and made him feel safe. Made him feel at peace and wanted and loved.

Then, slowly, it would start burning away at his surroundings. Frumpkins’ fur would go first, not even flinching at the flames that scorched at his body. Then his Mutter would be engulfed by them as if she were doused in gasoline and lit up, still holding onto Caleb. Next was the rug under him, then the couch, armchairs, bookshelves. Then Vatter got burned entirely, leaving only ashes behind and the book he was holding onto them. 

He feels the body of Mutter behind him. He feels the fire that burns her across his back but he can’t feel it eat him away like he wishes it did. He hears her scream right in his ear, over and over again, crying for help that no one gives her.

He hears the hells that are getting warmer and louder behind him. He hears the yowls of pain that are now coming from Frumpkin. He hears himself laugh and then burst into uncontrollable tears as the smoke is filling his lungs. So he does the most sensible thing he can do in that moment.

He starts running.

He runs faster and faster, passing by his home, passing by his town, the academy. He passes the hospital, and he passes prison cells filled with voices that blame him for horrendous acts no one could ever do, but he has done. They tear and scream and cut him, as arms reach out from between the bars and grab him, making him stumble and fall.

But he doesn't fall onto solid ground like he expected. He falls into cold ice water that surround him, cradle him, and take away all the ambers and flames he ran away from and extinguishes them.

But then they don't. They engulf him, and start choking him, all the safety he felt before now gone as if it was never there in the first place. He feels cold and empty, but then the water fills his lungs and he starts choking.

Caleb was drowning. He couldn’t tell where he was, only able to see the now murky waters surrounding him. Seaweed reaches out to him from the black void under him, latching onto his legs and tugging him down, down, down.

He hears the screams and cries of help, though muffled, of his friends from above him where a light shines through. He hears Fjord and Beau screams filled with terror, he hears Jester sob and cry out for someone to help him. Yasha’s voice gets cut off as she let out a scream of rage, Caduceus’ horrified wail that is so uncharacteristic of him it startles Caleb, and Mollymauk, who’s voice is helpless as he screams out for Caleb. 

And for a moment he sees Nott’s and his hand reach out for him from above. He hears words of encouragement and comfort a mother would tell her child from Nott, he hears lullabies and stories Nott would sing for him and tell him all about. He hears the singing voice of Mollymauk and his make belief adventures, his contagious laughter and his horrible jokes. 

And Caleb extends his arms towards them, towards the light where they are, towards their voices, towards their love, and where safety is and where he can feel wanted and loved again by a group of hurt people just like him-

He opens his mouth to scream after them, for them to swim down after him, but the water fills his mouth and throat and lungs and he is on the brink of unconsciousness and he feels numb. From his fingers, to his legs, to his head. He feels numb and tired and terrified.

This was wrong, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. Water is safe. Water can extinguish fire. The sea is his grounding point, his safe haven, it isn’t supposed to _scare him_ _**like this.**_

The seaweed cuts into his skin as he fights it, kicking and pushing as far away from them as he can. But it’s not enough, as the tendrils’ grip is growing tighter and it cuts deeper and deeper into his skin. He has no time to react, because the next second he's dragged down into the void, faster and faster, and he's kicking harder and harder and scrambling and trying to grip for something but he can’t feel anything. He’s numb and tired and so afraid that he can’t see, he can’t hear, he can’t feel. Just the currents and the water and the tendrils cutting deeper and deeper _and deeper, he sees the red of his blood twirl around him and mock him as it comes in waves from where he’s cut and he’s going to die-_

And with that, he bolts up in his bed, a scream tearing out of his throat. Raw and terrified. His clothes are soaked with sweat, his hair stuck to his forehead and the back of his neck, and he can feel his pulse sky-rocket as if he was running from danger and his blood thrumming in his ears. He feels unsafe, and he wants to hide away from the world and cry and not breathe anymore but his body is still breathing and is still warm and so alive that it _hurts_ him.

The barely there touch of a hand on his back startles him, making him fall off the bed and yelp. He covers his face with his hands, pushing his palms into his eyes as tears fall down rapidly. making stars burst behind his lids, and he curls up into a ball. He’s sobbing violently into his hands now, and he can’t do this anymore, he’s so tired of having to deal with this. Now his biggest source of comfort, the sea, is becoming a hell for him. He can’t deal with this, he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have _the strength to-_

Through the clouds and mist that have taken over his head he feels a hand settle lightly onto his shoulder, but this time he doesn’t scream. He flinches hard, yes, but it's not as earth shattering as the first time. A few seconds of him sobbing pass and a voice on his left speaks up.

“Caleb?” the mist and clouds have faded away, but the sound of it is still muffled to his ears. And for a moment he suddenly feels as if he’s underwater again, and someone is calling out to him, so the panic starts to kick in again. He starts choking on air, his palms are starting to sweat even worse now where they’re pressed against his eyes, and he feels faint and sick and he wishes he would pass out right in that moment.

But no such luck, as now a second voice chimes in(_Nott? Is it Nott?_) and a small hand settles onto his right shoulder and stars rubbing circles into it, just like the bigger one on his left shoulder.

“Caleb? Can you hear me?” after a few moments with no response from him he hears a sigh, and can feel a smaller body press against his right side. Hesistentaly, like he doesn’t want to spook him.

“You don’t have to answer now. Just nod or shake your head if you can. Is it a loner night or do you want us to be here?”

He’s not sure who else Nott is referring to at first, but as she says this he can feel a familiar tail wrapped around his left ankle and he immediately realizes that it’s Mollymauk. His breathing starts to pick up again, the panic wedged deep into his chest and crawling deeper into his ribs and heart as time passes and the feeling of burning fire and ice cold water wash over him vividly.

He nods.

Some shuffling and whispers from Nott to someone across the room(he thinks he can hear the rest of The Mighty Nein, but he’s too tired to care), and Notts’ smaller frame clings onto his right side as Mollymauk settles down and cuddles up on his left. He can feel their chests rise up and down slowly, coaxing Caleb to breathe slower. He takes a shaky breath in, letting it out slowly, and repeats the motions again and again, trying to sync up with one of them.

Whether minutes or hours pass, he isn't sure anymore, but what he is sure of is that he’s starting to feel better and that exhaustion is creeping up on him. A surge of panic tries to shake him up again though, but Mollymauk stops it, shushing him softly and wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.

“It’s alright, darling. Go to sleep. You’re safe here. We’re here for you.”

And so he does. He drops his hands from his face, grimacing at the wave of pain and nausea that washes over him, but puts them on his knees. His eyes flutter open for a second, then he closes them soon after, the light coming from the moons too bright for his taste. 

He breathes in, puts his head on Mollymauk’s shoulder, and breathes out. He puts his right hand on Nott’s head, and he feels Molly’s head shift so that his horns are out of the way, and breathes evenly for the first time that night.

He falls asleep surrounded by warmth and a feeling of safety and love. He doesn’t have any more nightmares that night.

**Author's Note:**

> first fic in this fandom, and of course it's about caleb and him having a nightmare! i plan on posting more, possibly nightmare-related for the others as well!  
What do y'all think? I'd be happy to receive some criticism! Have a good day/evening/night!


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